Sunday, November 20, 2011

Hula Hoops to hold up my socks

This post is mostly for my family, who has always had an odd appreciation for fat jokes. Over the past few months, I feel like the jokes have taken on a whole new level of reality for me.

This mamma is so fat.... when using a public restroom she gets trapped between the toilet and the stall door.

This mamma is so fat.... she parks in the driveway because the garage isn't big enough for both the car and her at the same time.

This mamma is so fat...she can't ever get past the shoulders in "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" actions but is REALLY good at "Once there was a Snowman", except that she can't get up again after she has "melted".

This mamma is so fat...when she drops something on the floor it's a 3 stage process for picking it back up again.

This mamma is so fat...that wearing her favorite winter boots requires a 10 minute yoga routine to get them on and the help of a second party to get them off again.

Enjoy Groves Family! At least my shadow doesn't weigh 42 pounds...yet.

3 comments:

Sarah Burgoyne said...

I feel for you Shaina! By the end of all three pregnacies I had people asking me if I was having twins. Once when I responded no the lady said "oh, you must just have big babies then." I wanted to cry and hit her. Who says that?!

Don't worry the end is near! Hold on!

Sarah Burgoyne said...

P.S. I feel like there should have been a picture with this post. Maybe of you trying to get up off the couch ;)

Scott and Carynn said...

I agree with Sarah. Where are the pictures of Mike pulling your boots off and you attempting to pick up that last reese's pieces that fell on the ground?