Thursday, October 25, 2007

Of Mice and Men and Mike

I know the other Burgoyne Bloggers have fun stories about the cute things their kids do to entertain us. Well, I may not have kids, but I do have Mike to write about. Here is one of the most recent adventures in our house:

For the most part, things in our home have been slowing down and starting to take on a normal pace as we get more and more acclimated to married life. Life has been almost perfect, without a single problem or concern …. Until last week.
One night as we were cleaning up dinner, we noticed something - a sign that we were not as alone in our cozy home as we thought. In the back corner of the bread bag was a hole. Not a hole that had been torn or ripped. One that had been gnawed. And a good section of bread had been gnawed too. A small, evasive, germ carrying rodent was living somewhere in our house.
It was too late to do anything that night, so the vermin was granted another day of mortality as we went to bed. The next day was full of activity as we hurried to work and our regular activities. But it was also the first day of Will’s visit. This extra element of excitement was enough to push thoughts of the creature cohabiting with us to the back of our thoughts for almost the entire day. After work I was by myself, eating a quick dinner before heading to Orem. Then I saw it. It scurried under the table and behind a wall. I was startled and disgusted as the sight of the pest. But that turned to detestation as it mocked me by running past me again a few minutes later in the kitchen.
I bought a couple of traps as soon as I could and when we got home that night Mike helped me set them. I told him and Will that they were responsible for catching and destroying the unwanted guest. The next few days nothing happened except for the disturbed feeling I got thinking about a rodent living in my home. Saturday morning I left to run a few errands. When I got home, I could tell immediately that something had happened.
Mike and Will had been up watching a sports something or other when the creature decided to show off his audacious side to them too. Once the guys had actually seen the rodent, it was more than just setting traps and passively hoping he wanders into one.

Now it was war.
Man against Beast.
Technology versus Nature.
The Burgoyne Brothers standing up against all that is disgusting in the world.

With nothing but shoe boxes and tape they had made bigger and better traps than anything a store could provide. They had tracked the enemy down and located the main entry to its hide out. They weren’t waiting for the mere tablespoon of bait that was in the traps to lure it out, but had a whole quarter cup of Peanut Butter plopped in the middle of the kitchen floor for it to feast upon. I think if there was war paint, loin cloths and spears in the house, they would have used those too. They were men who had to protect their home and their loved ones. They were ready to fight.
The rest of the morning Mike paced through the apartment trying different military tactics to find and destroy the enemy vermin. There was the bait and traps of course, as well as an offensive assault into its headquarters with a broom, and chemical warfare as Febreeze and Windex fumes were misted into its suspected hiding places. Unfortunately, none of them were successful. The enemy had won this battle. But things weren’t over yet.
Well, they did go on pause for a bit. We didn’t spend much time in our apartment that weekend, so the whole war was put on hold. At least that’s what I thought. I think in Mike’s mind we were really using psychology as our next stratagem, convincing the rodent that we weren’t around so much, letting it feel comfortable again and regain some of the boldness it had before. Either way, it worked.
On Monday evening Mike came home to find both of the Home Depot traps had been triggered. In one, the rascal was able to get the bait and escape the trap. But in the second he must not have been as nimble, as Mike found his lifeless body stuck in the snare that was its ultimate doom.
Man had won.

Now life is back to its normal work, school, eat, sleep routine. But stay tuned. You never know what'll happen next!